Normally when I sit down to write a blog, it takes me about 5 minutes. It's short & sweet, to the point. But this one is very different. I've been sitting at my computer now for 2 hours. Write, erase. Write, erase. What I wanted to share is that Adam & I have been accepted into the Nurse Practitioner program at UT. I wanted to just let everyone know that will start graduate school in the Fall. I even took a picture of our acceptance letters. Easy enough huh? Then what's the problem???
Well, the problem is I also feel the need to share why we're going back to school. I wish I could say it's because we've always longed to further our education or how we've always wanted to be Nurse Practitioners or even because we'll make more money. But the truth is - none of those things are the reason. The real reason is simply because we need change.
We have been nurses now for 12 years and although we know our experiences have shaped us into the people we are today, it has been a long hard road. Nursing is a profession that is very much misunderstood. It is so much more than offering a wet rag to a sick patient. Having worked in critical care areas our entire career, we have seen & done so many things that most people could not even fathom. Nursing provides you with the opportunity (unfortunately) to witness people at some the lowest, darkest points in their life. Don't get me wrong, we've seen and been apart of many miraculous things, but what they forget to tell you in the "come be nurse seminar" is how you will spend countless sleepless nights thinking about the 2 year old who was ran over & killed accidentally by his mother (and how you had to wrap him in a "shroud" & carry him to the morgue) or the 40 year old beautiful redheaded woman (with 3 young girls & a husband who adored her) who held your hand as her heart beat for the very last time. They don't tell you about how you will become a paranoid overprotective parent. These are the things they graciously omit from the nursing textbooks and day after day, it wears on you.
It is often said that ignorance is bliss. That is so true. I wish we didn't know half the things we do.
I wish Adam & I didn't know so well that the only thing separating life from death is one heartbeat. Life is here one second and gone the next. Death doesn't discriminate. It doesn't matter if your old or young, rich or poor, smart or ignorant. It doesn't matter if you have people who love you or not. It doesn't matter if you're a mother, or a father, or someone's precious child. When it's your turn, you take that one last breath & your heartbeats that one last time & then..... it doesn't.
Dealing with death & dying on daily basis makes Adam & I so aware of what we have to be thankful for. We know we are so very blessed. God has given us three beautiful, happy & healthy children. We want to be the very best parents we can, never take one single moment for granted. We want to have fun & be happy and the truth of the matter is, our job often leaves us very sad. So for all that ER nursing has taught us, we're grateful... but now we must move on. After we graduate & get a little experience, we hope to open an urgent care center. We want to stitch up lacerations and write prescriptions for sore throats & earaches. We're tired of doing CPR. We just don't need all that drama anymore!!
Wish us luck & keep us in your prayers. I'm sure the next two years will be quite challenging.
Thanks for listening.
